It has come to the attention of the SWM Elder Council that there has not been a single campaign launched to ban something in the past two weeks. Being socially conscious (and not ignorant, intolerant conservadweeb f**ktards), we have set up this open forum for SWM members to submit possible campaign ideas. This can include, but is not limited to, some sort of cause (preferably insanely vague or weirdly specific), a victim or group of victims, and someone to villainize, preferably SWM’s themselves. A submission(s) will be chosen and redirected to the nearest appropriate minority organization, as we ourselves are, of course, not qualified to speak on whatever it is.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Nuance and empathy will result in automatic disqulification.
Author: Little Lance
Victim: Un-Epic people, whom are discouraged when those around them call something or someone ‘Epic’, and not them. (NOTE: Studies that I won’t citate have clearly shown a much higher suicide rate in Un-Epic people.)
Villain: SWMs, whom are much more likely to use the term, and also never commit suicide. Ever.
Slogan: I’m not Lame. I’m Lametastic.
Cause: Freeze Culture
Victim: Black African-American Fluffy Bunny Post-Caucasian Americans, with whom certain popular slang originated (and belongs).
Villian: SWMs, whom appropriated/stole black slang and continue to demonstrate their racist assumption that they are the same as Fluffy Bunny Post-Caucasian American people.
Slogan: Stupid mothaf***in crackas! [Recommended Spokesperson: Kanye West]
Cause: Free Coffee Day
Villain: people who don’t give me free coffee
Author: Ron Rich
Cause: Fire Xav
Slogan: Xav, you’re fired. …Stop crying.
Cause: Ban Potholes
Victim: Women who drive, the sole targets of these mysoginistic monstrosities.
Slogan: Stop Potholes. Fight the Hierarchy.
Author: Mr. Frantic
Cause: BAN EVERYTHING
Slogan: EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHINGIST