TO DO: Ban Stuff, Launch Campaigns

It has come to the attention of the SWM Elder Council that there has not been a single campaign launched to ban something in the past two weeks. Being socially conscious (and not ignorant, intolerant conservadweeb f**ktards), we have set up this open forum for SWM members to submit possible campaign ideas. This can include, but is not limited to, some sort of cause (preferably insanely vague or weirdly specific), a victim or group of victims, and someone to villainize, preferably SWM’s themselves. A submission(s) will be chosen and redirected to the nearest appropriate minority organization, as we ourselves are, of course, not qualified to speak on whatever it is.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Nuance and empathy will result in automatic disqulification.


Submission 1

Author: Little Lance

Cause: #BanEpic

Victim: Un-Epic people, whom are discouraged when those around them call something or someone ‘Epic’, and not them. (NOTE: Studies that I won’t citate have clearly shown a much higher suicide rate in Un-Epic people.)

Villain: SWMs, whom are much more likely to use the term, and also never commit suicide. Ever.

Slogan: I’m not Lame. I’m Lametastic.


Submission 2

Author: imsorry

Cause: Freeze Culture

Victim: Black African-American Fluffy Bunny Post-Caucasian Americans, with whom certain popular slang originated (and belongs).

Villian: SWMs, whom appropriated/stole black slang and continue to demonstrate their racist assumption that they are the same as Fluffy Bunny Post-Caucasian American people.

Slogan: Stupid mothaf***in crackas! [Recommended Spokesperson: Kanye West]


Submission 3

Author: XAV

Cause: Free Coffee Day

Victim: Me

Villain: people who don’t give me free coffee

Slogan: Coffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Submission 4

Author: Ron Rich

Cause: Fire Xav

Victim: SWM

Villain: Xav

Slogan: Xav, you’re fired. …Stop crying.


Submission 4

Author: marriedwithmistresses

Cause: Ban Potholes

Victim: Women who drive, the sole targets of these mysoginistic monstrosities.

Villain: Potholes

Slogan: Stop Potholes. Fight the Hierarchy.


 

Submision 5

Author: Mr. Frantic

Cause: BAN EVERYTHING

Victim: EVERYONE

Villain: SWMs

Slogan: EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHINGIST

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