The Search For Opposite Day, Part 1

You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me.

-My Therapist

It haunts me.

Every day. Every single day. There’s not a moment when I don’t think about it, not a moment when it doesn’t linger in the back of my mind, even as I try to push it away. Many sleepless nights have found me curled up on the hardwood paneling of the attic I live in, rocking back and forth and back and forth and whispering the accursed word over and over again. That wretched, evil, haunting word.

Opposite         Day.

Opposite               Day.

Opposite                        Day.

Well, two words. Two wretched, evil, haunting words.

It haunts me.


Shockingly, the Internets don’t have a lot to say about this inconceivable mystery. It’s a shame, but it’s just like people to ignore or dismiss something they don’t want to believe. I, however, am not so blatantly ignorant. I have reflected endlessly on the intellectual challenge that opposite day presents; If opposite day exists, everyone would have to act as if it did not, and treat it like any other day. However, would we not be able to acknowledge it on any other day, perhaps marking the day on our calendars and erasing said mark just before Opposite day? That is, unless we don’t know when it is, and thus have to treat every day as a normal day, which is the same thing you would do on Opposite Day. In other words, one could not acknowledge Opposite Day, but would follow the cardinal Opposite Day rule of doing the opposite of what a ‘normal’ person would do, aka, what makes logical sense.

Therefore, those who know Opposite Day exists but do not know what day it is would act bizarre and insensible their entire lives, from the moment they knew of OD’s existence. Thus, to find opposite day, I must first find those who would know more of it, and perhaps eventually someone who has the date, or can calculate it.

I must know. I will go forth among these people and search until I find the answers. Nothing will stand in my way.

Wish me Luck.